20/03/2017
It's a jungle out there.

Words by

Bianca O'Neill

Everyone knows that fashion week is all about fashion, street style… aaaand bitching about everyone else attending. 

From fights over the frow (which came from both bloggers AND print journalists this year btw), to the mortifying experience of borrowing clothing and turning up in the exact same thing as another blogger, it’s a jungle out there.

Here is all the shade we heard thrown from afar. Because over here at FJ, we’re ALWAYS listening…

[Out the front of the first VAMFF runway on opening night]

Blogger 1: I’ll see you in there?
Blogger 2: No, I’m not going. 
Blogger 1: Didn’t you get a ticket?
Blogger 2: Yeah, I did, but it’s second row and I already had my outfit photos taken out front. That’s the important bit, anyway.
_____

[Newspaper editor shows up to see her front row seat has been taken]

Newspaper ed: That's my seat.
Girl: Oh, we were told to move down. There's a spot at the end, did you want to sit there?
Newspaper ed: I don't want to sit at the END I want to sit in the seat I WAS ALLOCATED. YOU NEED TO MOVE. I WANT TO SIT THERE. MOVE.
[Squeezes herself in. Seating manager comes over]
Seating guy: Can you move down please? [Famous TV star] needs to sit there.
_____

[Blogger shows up in a piss-take version of the Gucci tee]

Girl: I love that you are taking the piss out of everyone wearing a Gucci tee this year.
Blogger: Oh, does it NOT say Gucci? I was reading it upside down.
_____

[Blogger shows up in the exact same outfit as someone else]

Girl 1: At least she's taking it well. She’s posing for photos with the other one?
Girl 2: Oh, no, she'd be HATING it. 
Girl 1: Lol.
_____

[Talking about a well-known blogger]

Girl 1: I don’t get it, she says she reads all my articles, but a lot of them are secretly shading her?
Girl 2: Oh, she wouldn’t actually read them. She’d just be saying that as a segue into talking about herself more.
_____

[Talking about seating allocations]

Blogger: They keep giving me second and third row. Like, come on.
Girl: Yeah, but I guess they put people in the front row who have helped them sell tickets, right?
Blogger: Oh my God, you’re RIGHT. All they care about is people who SELL TICKETS for them. Like, hello – don’t you want the coverage??
Girl: Didn’t you skip last night though?
Blogger: Yeah, because I already got my outfit pics.

Follow Bianca at @_thesecondrow, because we know you want to PM her immediately to find out who said what… 

Illustration by Twylamae.

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