Most spend a third of their life sleeping. I spend a third of my life in my wardrobe.
Well, not actually in my wardrobe (that would be weird) but in the room where my wardrobe lives. I hang the pile of clothes I regretfully left on the floor the night before. I see how many T-shirts I can fit on one hanger before I go and buy another set of hangers. I sit on the floor in my knickers and stare at my clothes for 20 minutes waiting for a cute outfit to hit me, before I actually start trying things on. I find new, creative ways to store my stuff so I don’t have to get rid of anything. And I experiment with ways to clean things, because I’m clumsy and wear my good white shoes to festivals and also like saucy foods.
Anyway, my point is this: I’m a wardrobe expert. Storing, cleaning, wearing, you name it, I can do it… but not without these hacks. They have made my life as a hoarding, messy, sad person who’s addicted to clothes, much, much easier.
Now it’s time to pass them onto you.
1. Cleaning your shoes
We’re all familiar with the White Magic Eraser Sponge. It’s returned to us many a real estate bond, even after we’ve left foundation smudges on light switches and weird, scratchy marks on walls throughout the house.
Well, grab your shades, because it turns out the White Magic Eraser Sponge is bloody amazing at turning the white of your sneakers from a suspicious grey to blinding white again.
If you’re more of a fancy-pants patent leather wearing type and you also want to make your shoes sparkle, that’s cool too. A little dab of Vaseline does the trick when buffing out scuff marks.
2. Hanging your earrings
If you’re taking part in the Great Statement Earring Trend of 2017, you’ve probably noticed how they’re taking up all the room on your dresser/desk/bathroom sink. But by leaving them just lying about the place, not only are you compromising on space, you’re also dancing with fire. Let me ask you: how many earrings have you lost so far?
To combat this, buy a small canvas from a craft shop. If you’re especially creative, you can paint or decorate the canvas first. If not, channel your inner voodoo and get straight to pinning the earrings across the board, before hanging on the wall or balancing on a shelf. #ART.
3. Clearing out your closet
This is a trick used by stylists everywhere, and for good reason.
It’s pretty simple: pick up all of the clothes hanging in your wardrobe and hang them the opposite way. Every time you wear something, you can return it to the wardrobe the *normal* way. Anything left hanging the opposite way in 6-12 months should be donated, because you don’t wear it and here is the cold, hard proof. Once you’ve donated your clothes to charity, go and buy yourself something nice.
4. Making the most of space
If you’re a minimalist that lives in one of those tiny houses like on the Netflix doco, or you just spend all your money on smashed avo and live in a tiny apartment, it’s likely you’re dealing with a very small wardrobe space.
So, rather than hanging five things on one hanger and stretching all the collars of your tees (ahem) use one of these tricks.
The first involves a chain. Grab any old chain from Bunnings or your dad’s garage and loop it over your hanger. Instantly, you’ve got about 10 more holes from which you can hang more hangers – vertically.
For an even more povvo version of this, you can loop a soft drink can tab over your hanger, and use the extra hole on the tab for one more item of clothing. You’re welcome.
5. Grouping your annoying clothes
Hands up if you have about one billion plain singlets floating around your draws? Well, those singlets are taking up valuable space that could be much better used on winter coats and jeans.
By throwing them wherever the f*ck you want, it’s also really hard to find your singlets when it’s 5am and 8 degrees and you’re trying to get dressed in the dark.
Instead, use a tie rack to group together all of your singlets, and hang it on the far side of your wardrobe.
6. Planning tomorrow’s outfit
Ever see those people in movies that have time to sit down and eat a hot breakfast before heading off for work? That could be you. All you have to do is place a hook on the inside of your wardrobe door, and use it each night to prepare tomorrow’s outfit.
At first, it will be like a fun game and you’ll actually use it for a while, allowing you to eat a sit-down breakfast and making you earlier to work and probably getting you a promotion. It’s a win-win.
7. Freshening your denim
Any denim lover will tell you NOT to wash your jeans – it’s basically murder. But if you’re like me and also enjoy saucy foods, sometimes you have accidents. For these moments, spot cleaning is your friend.
When the time comes to give them an all-over freshen up, pop them into a canvas bag (rather than plastic, so it can breathe) and throw them straight in the freezer.
Keep in mind this doesn’t actually kill the bacteria (it just freezes it until the denim warms up again). But it’s a handy little trick for eliminating odour and feeling fresh as a daisy in your newly-thawed jeans, without committing denim murder.
8. Avoiding the dreaded hosiery ladder
It’s winter, it’s freakin’ cold and tights are on high rotation. But sometimes, our tights get a snag.
Rather than giving up completely and throwing them out, stop the snag becoming a full-blown ladder by dabbing a teeny amount of clear nail polish on the hole. This will harden and stop the fabric from tearing further.
Obviously, this only works if you have one of those cute little holes. If you happen to be eating something saucy, drop it, then burn a hole in your tights the size of your palm, well, you’re on your own.
Illustration by Twylamae.