drag

Red carpets are way too safe these days – and it’s ruining fashion

Just in time for the Brownlow.

I was watching the Emmys red carpet last week and something struck me as odd. There were amazing, well-accessorised dresses, accompanied by subtle makeup and tasteful hair, everywhere. I didn’t hate one sophisticated, well-delivered look. Even Heidi Klum, serial red carpet offender, didn’t make me want to vomit. 

In fact, the more I looked through the images, the more I realised there wasn’t one horrible dress in there. Sure, there were a couple of stinkers, but nothing truly heinous. Not one Björk in a swan dress or Cher in a ribbon G-string anywhere.

It got me thinking… has the exceedingly safe red carpet these days ruined fashion? Who do we look to for inspiration, other than these styled-to-the-teeth, pictures of conservative perfection?

I used to trawl through red carpet fashion nightmares with an equal sense of satisfaction and horror – after all, these superstars were real people with real takes on style and trends. They wore their own real clothing, and they would put them together into a look that they really thought looked amazing. 

Yep, that’s right. SJP at one time thought that pink ballerina ostrich look with accompanying pink taffeta armband was A++. 

But we never remember how the bad looks inspired countless styling takes – when someone sees an outfit with an IDEA, however badly that idea was put together. 

Last year Kiernan Shipka was slammed for wearing a couchy floral mini dress over a pair of office-worker-black slacks. Months later, we were fawning over the whole dress-over-pants look as various bloggers rocked the look better.

I’m all for the terrible red carpet look. It gives me life. It makes me think. It (weirdly) inspires me. It celebrates originality. And most of all, it takes those rich, perfect, beautiful, thin women back down to earth. C’mon, don’t lie and tell me you don’t sport this emoji when you see ol’ Heids K in a yellow ice skater nightmare.

Well, at least here in Australia we will always still have the Brownlow Medal. You know, just in case you were keen to research WAG-approved naked wedding dresses or wear something made solely of five sequins strung together. 

Oh god, this whole night gives me life. 

Follow Bianca’s decidedly norm fashion journey that looks nothing like the Brownlow over at @_thesecondrow.

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